By: Brittney Baily

We ended our first date with an incredibly awkward “Good game, bro!” handshake-hug. But it was after that 4-hour date at a local Irish pub, I knew I wanted to see Patrick again. And again. He was so interesting, hilarious, and have you seen his muscles?!

While this is the month of baby Cupid shooting haphazard arrows around, we should really be doing all that we can for our spouse every month! My husband and I will be married for 8 years in April, and while we haven’t had the easiest couple of years, I know that God had a plan when he went in for a handshake and I went in for a hug. Within the first 2 years of our marriage, we welcomed Liam into our lives, and I witnessed Patrick morph into the best father! The tears of pure joy when he saw Liam will be something I’ll never forget.

As we learned that we would have another son, life took a horrible twist when we learned that our son would not live. He had a chamber in his heart that had not formed properly and it was the hardest battle of my life knowing I was carrying a warrior, whose life was a true miracle. In that devastating time after his death, Patrick and my mom had to physically carry me up the stairs as the pain was unbearable and feeling so out of control was haunting. As I planned for Elijah’s funeral, which as a Mom is one of the most nightmare-ish things to do, Patrick expressed that he wanted to be baptized. He didn’t believe in God when we met, but remember…God had a plan for us, AND Patrick’s wandering heart.

When Elijah’s life continued day after day, when specialist after specialist told us to give up hope and “we can’t explain this,” Patrick saw a side of the Lord that was supremely powerful. He did what only He could do, and knowing He carried our son into eternity is the most comforting part of his loss. Patrick told me he saw the hand of God and knew it was time. I will never forget watching my husband, dressed in black, emerging drenched from cleansing waters, in front of the stark white, tiny casket. Before he was baptized, Patrick said that his son had “truly come to save his DAD’S life, and when he died, it wasn’t one soul that went to Heaven, but two.”

The sanctuary felt like holy ground as we watched Patrick commit to a new life. From that day on, my husband really was a new man of hope, faith, and unconditional love for his family.

We welcomed 2 more children since then, and while we aren’t perfect, I tell Patrick all the time that we ARE perfectly blessed. Elijah’s death stretched us in ways I couldn’t comprehend when we vowed, “For better or for worse,” but we have committed to holding each other in love.


We are ships in the night, and for most of our marriage have worked opposite schedules. It is currently one of the hardest parts of marriage. Since we don’t see each other as often as we like, we try to make time for each other on Sundays, the only day off we have together. Patrick is very good at speaking my love language which is Acts of Service. Just today, he cleaned and swept out my Mom Van! Which, if yours is like mine, you know it was quite the undertaking! 🙂

So if you’re going to be missing Valentine’s Day too with your honey, just know you’re not alone! One day we’ll have more time right?! We might be in rocking chairs and can’t hear each other, but it will happen!

If you and your spouse have opposite schedules, how do you make time for each other?


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